She Speaketh

Anna has been having Early Intervention sessions for her speech for three months now, so I thought I'd give an update.

Judy comes every other week and plays for about 45 minutes. Obviously Anna loves her! She brings puzzles, books, blocks, crayons, and other toys that are very interactive so she can encourage Anna to use words to indicate what she wants and so on. Mostly I think she's training me to interact this way.

Anna has made a lot of progress. When she was first tested I made a list of words she said consistently without prompting and it was maybe 50. About a month ago I listed a bunch more. This time before Judy came I made another list, and I was amazed how long it was. I didn't count, but it might have been 50 more, and she's putting together more phrases.

In the last couple weeks she has really gotten into using people's names. She can identify and say several colors, a bunch of letters, and of course her favorite condiments. She can count to ten.

It's amazing what you can learn when you start talking, eh?

Next visit Judy is going to do a mini re-evaluation of Anna's language development to see how her scores now compare to her first test. Normally they wouldn't do this until a couple months before she turns three, at which point she enters a different phase of the EI program, but since we're moving, this will give us some sense of her progress.

I plan to contact the Michigan program, and I'm sure they'll want to do their own evaluation. Their system appears to be similar, so if she still needs help when she turns three, she might be able to go into a group learning situation, like a focused preschool program, which I think would be good for her since she's not getting that social aspect much now. We'll see.

I Fight Authority

Authority always wins.

As Bipolar as This Blog

First of all, could this blog swing any more wildly from cute smiley pictures to melodramatic bemoaning? I'm sure you're hoping not. Thanks for bearing with me through my e-published mood swings.

Speaking of mood swings, miss Anna is being extremely two this week. In the words of a Seinfeldian keychain, Ho-leeey COW!

This started Easter Sunday, the first day since our trip that we had any real goings-on. I don't know if her tiredness caught up to her and/or she thought we were leaving that evening (as most Sundays) or what, but after her nap she was like thirty inches of saran wrap--would not stop clinging to me and melting down into tears for no apparent reason. She was only really okay when I was holding her; even Aaron would not do.

Monday, again, she was a mess in the evening. The biggest meltdown was clearly a control battle: she put her baby doll and Pooh bear in her chair before dinner, which was all fine and adorable until it was time to eat and she would not accept them moving so she could eat. I can testify to the strength of the chair's 3-point harness. Then she decided that life and food were fine and dandy and was so cheerful I even let her baby sit next to her while she finished her chicken fajita with ketchup (blech); hence the photo.

I know toddlers want control in a world where so much is out of their tiny little hands. I try to give her choices, but frankly, she's not very good at it yet. She wants it all or doesn't know what she wants. Do you want this or that? This! NO, THAT. THAT! THAT! THIS! THAT! THWAAAAAAAAAAH! So sometimes choices helps and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes she blows a fuse before you can give her an opportunity to choose or do it herself. Looking for ways I can let her assert her independence harmlessly, though.

By the way, just how much cheese can a two-year-old eat before it ceases to be intestinally harmless?

I'm glad she seems to be settling down a bit here at the end of the week (knock on wood) because it is awfully tiring when every other meal, diaper change, step out of the room for five seconds yields a meltdown. Worse yet is when it can't even be traced to one of those things! She almost seems to just want to be held and even babied sometimes--a little regression going on. For example, she came along to Bible study with us Wednesday because I totally forgot to confirm a sitter, and she found a pacifier in the toys she dragged out from the nursery and sat on my lap sucking it for five or ten minutes. She didn't even use pacifiers as a baby but she knows what they are; her cousin we just visited uses one. So I held her and rocked her and told her she was my baby. You'll always be my baby.

I don't know that it has anything to do with this behavior (what would have triggered it in her right now, except maybe our trip away from dad, then back home away from grandma et al?) but this clingyness, plus coming up on two years since referral, reminds me that she is going to be becoming more and more aware of her adoption and we need to be talking about it and helping her understand it (as a two-year-old can). There are going to be times when she's feeling anxious or sad about it, though she might not know quite why, and needs those extra snuggles to feel secure that we will always be her family. That's a grace I hope I can always extend.

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby

Midnight Wanderings, Bathtime Pottyings

Anna has surprised me with a couple of tricks this week.

Friday morning I stumbled downstairs to exercise (yes, miraculously this is happening pretty regularly) and looked at the couch on my way through the living room. What is that? said my sleepy brain. It was Anna--sleeping there! Just lying there with her baby doll, face on a pillow. I was so surprised I said something and woke her up. I'm not sure she knew what she was doing there either. We have no idea when or why she migrated; she never cried or called for us and presumably didn't try to come upstairs to us either. But apparently she figured out that she can indeed get out of her bed at night. She hasn't done it again, though. Even now as she's having a hour-long conversation with herself and her animals instead of falling asleep for her nap, she's staying in bed.

And file this one under Great News on the Horizon (Maybe): this morning she peed in her little potty! It's upstairs so we really only attempt this when we do baths, although occasionally she wants to sit on the big toilet (and get right off without trying anything). I'm not sure if she just got lucky or really did learn from last time when she scared herself by suddenly peeing as she stood naked next to the potty and I tried to throw her on there. Hopefully she is putting together how to make that happen and that we will get all excited and tell the all world. Or at least all the Internet.

I would love for Anna to be potty trained before we move this summer, but I'm not worried about it either. I think I would be a lot more anxious to get it done if we were buying diapers, watching all that money get thrown away. Cloth diapers = way less pressure.

Early Intervention Results Show

Okay, it's not a show, and I won't drag it out for an unnecessary hour like a certain Idol pursuit. But I know some of you have been wondering how the Early Intervention evaluation went last week.

First of all, how can you not love a person who comes in and immediately starts playing? And brings her own toys to share? Anna is a fan already. "Dr. Jill," we'll call her, basically (1) explained EI to us, (2) played and talked with Anna to see what she can do, and (3) asked us questions to evaluate Anna. Even though we were only concerned about speech, they do a basic assessment of all areas of development.

Hey, guess what? She's normal or high in every area except "expressive communication," which is basically speech (as opposed to "receptive communication," i.e., hearing and understanding).

Recognizing pictures in a book? No problem, one of her favorite pastimes. Push buttons? Easy. Body parts? Know 'em (just don't say 'em). Eating, scribbling, tooth brushing, following directions, taking off clothes--check to the fifth power. Running? Umm, yeah. She runs laps around the house for fun. Jumping, a three-year-old skill? Yes, we'll see you her hopping all the way across a room getting major air and raise you her doing a cheerleading routine in rhythm. (Dr. Jill thought the Irish Rumble was pretty good!)

The next day Dr. Jill called to say that yes, the evaluation scored out as she suspected, and Anna qualifies for services in expressive communication (only). That means that next week she will come back with her partner, who is an actual speech pathologist, and do more in-depth evaluation more specific to Anna's language abilities. Then they will write up a plan for what they/we should do to work with her.

I'm glad (like any proud parent) that Anna is doing so great in so many areas but I'm also glad she qualified for speech services. I'm actually surprised how glad I am. But I'd rather her qualify than have her score borderline and still wonder if she's really okay or if she is being held back by something. I'm interested to see what we learn about how she learns that can help us to help her throughout her development. Pretty amazing what grants and tax dollars can provide.

And how did Anna follow up on this visit on Saturday?

"Hi kitty."

"Hi Dada."

Yes, she was echoing my "Say 'hi kitty'" instructions, but she did do it several times, like it was clicking in her brain that she can say two words together.

Maybe that was "Wolf!" that she cried?

Anna Saying Naooooooooow

Anna finally started saying no a few weeks ago. She says it most adorably, like a cat pronouncing the word now. Aaron likes to ask her dumb questions just to get her to say it. Here for your amusement is some video of her thinking we're morons for not knowing this is Pooh, plus other adorable overdose material.




(Aren't you glad I finally figured out that adding video is easy? Duh.)

Toddler Bed Time

Aaron converted Anna's crib to a toddler bed last week, sort of on a whim when he realized it wouldn't be too hard. She cried/whined more than usual at bedtime, but shockingly, she did not get out of bed. She stayed in it the next day at nap time too, even as she protested her nap at great length and volume because she was overtired from a busy morning. It's like she hasn't figured out yet--thankfully--that she could just get out and play with toys or try to escape the room. We're keeping our ears close to the monitor for when she does, though!

I always check on her before I go up to bed to make sure the room's not too cold and put a blanket over her. That first night in her "big girl bed," she looked so small when I went in, instead of like a giant sprawled across her crib. My tiny baby, a big girl!


No babies Only one baby fell out during this transition


"Wakin' Up Is Hard to Do"

Wordless Wetzel: Our Tiny Mime

As I alluded to in my she's-two update post, Anna seems to have something funny going on with her speech. Namely, she seems to think it's more fun to not talk. She's big on charades, not so much into speechifying. The question is whether this is something truly wrong with her ability to speak or she is one of those kids just holding back until she can bust out in full-on Shakespearean monologues.

She does communicate. Like crazy. She told me at dinner, using only the word "woof," that she wanted to clean off her tray and get down the big pad of paper with the dog on it and draw. She constantly gestures for things she wants (dance music, basketball) or wants you to do (sit here, draw, put ketchup all over my carrots). She's much more into motions than words--for instance, an O-mouthed silent "blub blub blub" impression means fish or Goldfish crackers. She knows the word well but won't even try to say it. Why should she when she can act it out? It's like living with a tiny mime. Or being trapped inside a game of Guesstures.

I mean, she just started saying no, instead of just shaking her head, about two weeks ago. A toddler who doesn't say no! Well, maybe I should enjoy that while it lasts . . .

It was suspect #3--'that one'!

Her comprehension is even better than her charades ability. You can have a whole conversation with her and she'll nod and make expressions and point to what you're talking about to let you know she's following you. She can point out almost anything you ask her to in her books. She knows a ton of body parts but only says "teeth." She loves animals but prefers to call them by their noises rather than names. And her memory is ridiculous: she'll go find things where she left them ages ago, and yesterday at church she pulled a friend of ours over to a certain spot to do a little pretending game she'd thought was funny--a month ago.

So like most parents, we think our kid is dang smart, but that's also because other people keep saying to us, "She is so smart!" I mean, I think she is too, but I also know she's not saying as much as other people's even younger kids are saying--so it's been a bit of a nagging worry. I know, but . . . why won't you talk, child?!

Still, at Thanksgiving we made a list of all the words she'd said (with meaning and some regularity) it was almost 50, which is about where an 18-24 month old should be, so I decided we could wait until she turned two and see if she would start putting two words together by then. But she hasn't, other than sort of getting lucky a couple times. Of course, she can put two gestures together like nobody's business.

So our pediatrician told us to call Early Intervention for an evaluation and whatever magical powers they possess. Apparently this is all free (well, prepaid through your taxes, thank you) no matter your income and they even come to your house. I should get a call back from them tomorrow to find out more.

As stupid as I know it is, I can't help feeling like maybe I/we should have been or should be doing something more or different. Are we letting her off the hook with her gestures too much? Not enough reading? (Doesn't seem possible.) Too much TV? (Uh, are you counting football?) White noise machine scrambling her brain? (Oops, now my mom's worried about that.)

Or is it in part because she had 9 months in the womb and 7 months in Ethiopia hearing only Amharic, not English?

Or maybe it just is what it is, and worrying about why will not add one hour to my life or one word to her vocabulary. I'm trying to remember that as I wait for the Early Intervention cavalry to arrive. And I'm remembering to be grateful to have access to such a resource here in the U.S.

And I'm enjoying the sweet sounds from downstairs which will all too soon be gone--the beautiful, mysterious poetry of "Dab be! Abb beee! Dabyee abbayae abbyeeeeeeeeee!"

Et Two, Bebe?

Anna is now officially--not just behaviorally--a two-year-old. After she got her eyes uncrossed, she wished for a pony, a helicopter, a sixteen-year moratorium on naps, and a lifetime supply of bananas and Goldfish crackers.

Last week she checked out at the doctor's office at a little over 27 pounds, 34 inches ("36 with the afro," for you Fletch lovers). People often think she seems tall and is older than she is, but she's right in the middle of the growth curve at around the 50th percentile for height and weight. Big change from her 10th percentile days! She still has a big head, though. Developmentally she is on track with the exception of speech--more on that in another post.

Some of her favorite things right now are anything that makes noise, like the little piano she got for Christmas; she mostly likes to push the button that makes it play "ABC" by the Jackson Five. So often that I had a dream about the dumb song! She also likes her little laptop with learning games, but they are really for older kids, so she mostly likes to hold down the volume button that makes a little monkey say EEH-EEH! EEH-EEH! EEH-EEH! a hundred times consecutively. So often that I threatened to smash the thing into a pulp with her precious bananas. Or maybe with the similarly charming birthday card with the dying singing cats.

For Christmas she also got play food from us and from my parents, plus plastic pots and a shopping cart (the cart is still en route from Michigan), all of which she loves. Some of the food velcroes together so you can slice it and stack it into sandwiches and burgers.

She will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today!

Anna also loves her baby doll, balloons from the grocery store produce guy, telephones, Sesame Street, Mr. Potato Head, and the music between Wii Sports games. She's learned to take off her diaper and open certain doors, including, I'm pretty sure, the baby gate cutting her off from the Spiral Staircase of Doom. We are so screwed.

Sharing is . . . not something she has mastered.

Her favorite word is currently "bye." If you appear to be leaving the house (or simply the room), she will shout "Bye! Byeeeeeee!" She sometimes puts one of her little bags over her shoulder like a purse and heads for the door, announcing "Bye! Bye!" And when former President Bush's helicopter took off, she waved frantically at the TV and yelled "BYEEEEEEEEE! BYEEEEE! BYE!" But he shouldn't take it personally because she kept doing it to Wolf Blitzer too. That guy can not take a hint.

Food-wise she's doing just what the doctor said two-year-olds do: being picky and eating nothing sometimes, then at other times eating to rival her father. I'm glad to have her past the two mark so she can eat everything and anything and doesn't need whole milk anymore. Please, please let her quickly develop a love for the economical protein wonder that is peanut butter...

After we cut out milk before naps and bed, I realized I should move her nap up earlier in the afternoon since she's mellow after lunch. I started putting her down before 1:00 instead of at 2:00 and she slept three full hours five days in a row! Why didn't someone tell me this before?

She also napped for a sitter yesterday, which frankly I didn't think she'd do. She was cranky as heck all evening and wailing at bedtime, though--perhaps letting me know she did not appreciate that disruption to our daytime routine? She usually only has a sitter during evening play hours, and she is always fine with it. Still, I'm glad to know we could leave her with someone over naptime or bedtime and she would probably go to sleep fine. Maybe someday we will do something crazy like go to the movies . . . ah, who am I kidding? Crazy for us is staying up late enough to watch CSI and American Idol!

And that's life with Little Miss Two!

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm Okay

In Your Face--No, Actually, in Mine

My two-year-old is beating me up.

She's gotten into hitting. For control. For effect. Apparently, for fun.

This gets her a time-out. Problem is, that doesn't seem to be helping much. Sometimes I think she wants one. Sometimes she definitely wants one because it means she'd stay in the living room (albeit on the chair in the corner) instead of having to go for a diaper change. Manipulator alert! We're onto this one, so diaper change it is.

Sometimes if she takes a swing at me and misses I'll warn her and she'll stop. But when I'm brushing her teeth, she doesn't miss. She slaps me in the face. Which kind of, you know, fricking hurts. And makes me mad. And then she knows it and hits again, again, again. I can either get hit repeatedly or grab her hands, but that only confirms that I'm mad and makes her mad (or makes it more fun, perhaps, depending on your understanding of total toddler depravity, I suppose).

It's getting to me. And she knows it.

I don't think I want to give her time-out then (although tonight I did) because I don't want to teach that negative behavior gets more attention--and gets her out of brushing her teeth and going to bed. I do want to stop and/or punish the behavior with enough unpleasantness and immediacy to show this is serious. And I'd really like to, you know, not get hit in the face.

How do I get at this? Can I make time-out work here? Do I need some sort of upgrade to Time-Out 2.0?

I am remembering that it's probably about control, so I should probably find some way to give her more control in the tooth brushing process.

Right. More control? She's opening the cabinet, she's licking the mirror . . . she's out of control!

But at least she has semi-clean teeth.

Overheard at Nap Time

Sound: Squeeeee.

Sound of door opening.

Aaron: Ah, nooooo.

She was playing the harmonica. She'd reached through the crib bars and pulled it from the toy pile.

A musician never rests (when she's supposed to).

Crack(er)ing Me Up

In a stunning (for me) exercise of foresight, I did my grocery shopping today for Thanksgiving and beyond. Anna was kind of a weenie in the cart when she got bored, but a relative angel at the checkout, so we'll call it a wash. I don't know why the Goldfish crackers which were sheer heaven last shopping trip were cast away with a howl this time, but whatever. She's two like that sometimes.

Yesterday, in fact, she was having some kind of irrational cracker spaz-out before dinner. She asks for crackers or Goldfish a lot, and I was going to let her have some as I was getting dinner ready. I even let her choose. Power to the two-year-old people and all that. Goldfish, graham cracker sticks, or regular crackers--she pointed at the regular crackers and surprisingly did not demand the opposite .75 seconds later.

However, there was an opened sleeve of the same crackers on the counter already, so I gave her one of those. NO WAY. CRACKERS is what I demand, you tricksy mama! THOSE CRACKERS, FROM THE BOX. I tried to show her that they're the same. That one's not open; this one is. See, I'll demonstrate how good they are.

NO YOU WILL NOT, I WILL SMACK IT AWAY FROM YOU TOO, CRACKERS FROM THE BOX NOW OR I WILL DIEEEEEEEEE HERE ON THIS KITCHEN FLOOR! CRAAAAAAACKERRRRRRRRR!

A tad dramatic sometimes, that one.

I tried to get her in her chair and started on some food--there were actual tears by now. Pasta and cracker were rejected. Fishsticks were grudgingly accepted since they arrived with a side of banana. When all else fails, resistance to the banana is futile. And it works as a gateway drug to fishsticks and crackers. Even crackers from a previously opened sleeve.

Whatever, girl. You can have your crackers moods; I have the bananas. And she who holds the bananas will always be victorious.