Referral Echoes

Anna with her referral picture
April 19, 2009

I think I'm going to take a picture of Anna with her referral picture every April 19 from now on to create a progression kind of like the school photos collection you have by graduation. Too bad I didn't think of this a year ago, huh? (Or before Sunday's post. Duh.) I think this would be a neat project with a first baby picture too.

Of course I couldn't get her to sit still and hold it up and smile all at once. But since there is a slightly different version of the photo on the back of the frame, she did eventually point at the baby for me. And kiss it. And try to eat it.

Toddler Bed Time

Aaron converted Anna's crib to a toddler bed last week, sort of on a whim when he realized it wouldn't be too hard. She cried/whined more than usual at bedtime, but shockingly, she did not get out of bed. She stayed in it the next day at nap time too, even as she protested her nap at great length and volume because she was overtired from a busy morning. It's like she hasn't figured out yet--thankfully--that she could just get out and play with toys or try to escape the room. We're keeping our ears close to the monitor for when she does, though!

I always check on her before I go up to bed to make sure the room's not too cold and put a blanket over her. That first night in her "big girl bed," she looked so small when I went in, instead of like a giant sprawled across her crib. My tiny baby, a big girl!


No babies Only one baby fell out during this transition


"Wakin' Up Is Hard to Do"

Twenty-One

Anna is 21 now. Months, that is, though it seems it will be years before we know it. One day a week or so ago we couldn't stop staring at her--has she grown inches and months in one day? Maybe it was what she was wearing or her hair ("six-five, with the afro six-nine..."), but she seemed oh so grown up all of a sudden.




Favorites at 21 months:

• Words: water (pronounced "dowww"), hi, hot, football
• Food: cheese, fruit, pizza
• Clothes: shoes, because they mean going somewhere; half-removed pajamas
  
• Activities: running, dancing/spinning, sitting on dog, looking at pictures of herself
• Sport: "Foobaaaaaall!" (raises arms in touchdown signal)
• Places: Beach, playground, Aaron's office or nursery at church
• Toys: balls, books, Magnadoodle, baby doll, coasters, slammable drawer, food
  
• People: Dadadadadada! (as he's called when he comes home), MAMA! (as I'm summoned downstairs to say goodnight), cheerleaders, teenagers, church ladies, and our friend the big rough redneck Dreamy Lumberjack (go figure)
• Mode of protest: Full body sprawl

She is working on words but seems to be more into motions/actions. For example, she'll strum on her stomach like playing the guitar when she sees one or a picture of one (or a violin) or to indicate where one is, like the front of church where Aaron plays. She can point to lots of body parts but not say them. She does a lot of very insistent pointing and patting and dragging you by the finger to indicate what she wants or where she wants you. I don't know if this means anything about her speech or learning style or not--is she a physical learner, perhaps? But she is slowly increasing her vocabulary too and certainly chatters frequently and sometimes incredibly loudly.

If she's upset she will do the toddler full body sprawl, spinning around if she's holding your hand and throwing herself onto the ground. This was charming when she tried it in the post office, but unfortunately for her didn't embarrass me.

Generally she's very good in public though. She will test us at home and if necessary gets a time-out in a chair in the corner. Recently she got about five in a row because when Aaron told her to put her books on the bookshelf (yes, she knows how) or she'd get another time out, she kept choosing the chair. Literally. She went back to it. Of course when he put her in it she realized that she wouldn't rather be there. She still tried ignoring him, though, so he kept at it. Quite an entertaining show they put on for me, really. SuperNanny would be proud of my man!

She is really into Winnie the Pooh and football. If she sees anything football related--game or commercial on TV, picture of football or helmet, football players on the back of the box of crackers--she says "Foobbaaaaaallll!" and raises her hands like the touchdown signal. She also knows how to push a small football behind her through her legs when I say "hut hut!" (I am training her for the oft-overlooked position of long snapper, since it is an important specialization with relatively low risk of injury, less glory but still plenty of cash to take care of her momma in her old age.)

She loves to go to the school playground and go on the slides, go for walks out behind our house, and help me pick eat the blackberries around our house.

Best of all, she loves hugs, cuddles, tickles, and us.

Is that a teenager scarfing down all our pizza?



Must be. She has the pouty face down.

Eat Your Heart Out: Food Input Requested!

Yesterday a friend said in an email that her 16-month-old has 17 teeth. I replied that wow, she must be able to chew even rocks and tires, while I still have to blend them for Ms. Anna Eight-Tooth. And she said Don't tell me you're still blending food?

And I knew I'd been outed: I am clueless about kid food.

Really, the formula was brutally expensive, but at least it was simple. Now it's all "2 1-ounces servings of this, 4 2-ounce or 2 4-ounce servings of that..." I had a good system worked out with the blended veggie cubes, but my friend is right: it's time for the girl to start chewing more and eating more table food.

She will eat quite a few things we eat, but she is funny about textures. Too chewy or too much of a skin and at least some of it comes back out. So I cop out and feed her the blended slop so I know she's getting her veggies. For example, usually (non-pureed) green beans are rejected although, go figure, peas are fine. Cooked carrots and sweet potatoes, she could eat all day; corn, broccoli, forget it. Lunchmeat, yes; chicken, no (unless it's a McD's Chicken MushNugget--sorry to say that I even know that). She will eat ground beef in spaghetti or Mexican but not in hamburger form. She likes chili beans and the like as well as baked beans (we don't call her Fartypants for nothing). She loves fruit, cheese, crackers, bread any time, any where.

I think perhaps I have been worrying a bit too much about "following the rules," getting her the exact number of servings and such, but obviously she does need her protein and it would be good if she did continue to eat vegetables, not just fruit, and maybe even something other than the ever-popular sweet potato. So my questions to you are:

• What does/did your toddler eat? (Anna is 18 months.)
• What do you suggest for meat and veggies in particular? Cooking tips?
• What are some favorite easy things you give your kid when what you're eating won't work, or a couple favorites for breakfast, lunch, dinner?

And for bonus points:

• Why is a zucchini a fruit, not a vegetable?
• Which one is an avocado, anyway?

Thanks for playing, and stay tuned for future episodes: taking away the nap time bottle and potty training!

Toofies, Threefies, Fourfies

First there were toofies. Then . . . threefies!

Hello, Snaggletooth!

Now . . . fourfies!



And doggone cute!

Her Oneth Birthday

Somewhere in the after-Christmas blur, our little girl turned one. This really caught me off guard since I was just getting used to the concept that I had a baby—now I have a one-year-old? Say what?!

I kept waffling on whether to party or not to party. Fortunately, our less celebration-challenged friends at church ensured the presence of cake and cards, and on her birthday we were able to go out for dinner with friends and come back home for banana cream pie (Daddy’s favorite, why not?). Her favorite gift, despite the fine variety she received, is the kitty card from Grandma and Grandpa H. It’s sitting on a shelf so she can see it and declare its name: "Kheeeey!" Silly me to ever thinks she needs anything more than the sight of an actual or two-dimensional cat.

Birthday dinner—high five!

At church she started out pretty dainty with the cake, but in the end she had a good amount of the brightest purple frosting imaginable on her hands, face, hair, eyelashes, and clothing. (Sorry, the only pictures are still on our friend’s camera.) With the pie, she wasted no time.

Pie for One.

This is a messy game to play with a mouthful of pudding.

But he started it!

What We Did on Our Christmas Vacation Trip

EDIT: Now with photos!

Long overdue tales of holidays past . . . (for more photos see previous post).

I have already detailed the travel endurance trials portion of our journey and the physical and emotional recovery period. I should note that once we got back into our routine, Anna got back into her easygoing nature, although we did have one heckuva long night last week with a very unhappy, nonsleeping, teething babe. Not that more teeth have made it through yet.

As far as what all our trip included, well, it could be summed up in the word PEOPLE. People people people everywhere wanted to meet Anna. And meet her they did. With our Christmas Eve travel delays, we had no day to decompress before we hit the ground running. Christmas Day is always a full one for us since we stay at my parents’ house, go to Aaron’s parents’ for Christmas with the immediate family, and then go to his grandparents’ for the big extended family dinner and gift exchange (and wrapping paper whipping contest).

We went to his parents’ as usual and had time with them plus Aaron’s brothers and their lovely ladies and daughters. Anna and her two-year-old cousin Autumn shared a sweet minute of holding onto each other and staring and then a big kiss from Autumn. This year things were a bit different in that we had dinner there instead of with everyone at his grandparents’—the big dinner was called off because of his grandmother’s health. Grandma S. was diagnosed with cancer not long ago and sadly it is a type for which they can do basically nothing at this point. She is at home receiving care from family and hospice. We did all gather at their house for time together and gifts, though, and I suspect that Grandma summoned great energy for and from having everyone together, as you probably would not have guessed she was sick had you not known. She is a wonderfully kind, sweet, yet strong woman. She tells us each time she sees us and in notes that she prays for us every single day and always wants to know specifically how to pray. I know she prays for Anna too so we were grateful that she and Grandpa both were able to meet her that day.

For once I was grateful the drive from there back to my parents’ is long since Anna needed the nap—more family waiting to meet her! My aunt, uncle, and Grandma H. had driven over from the Detroit area for the day (my brother and his wife had arrived the day before). Grandma wanted to hold that baby on her lap right away, finally! (Anna is the first great-grandchild on my side.) We had dessert and there were plenty of packages for Anna to rip open, now that she was an old pro at that game. My parents got her a walker/ride-on lion which makes music and emits a comical giggle/roar. She bends her knees and bops her booty as soon as she hears it, and she figured out fast that it’s pretty fun to shove around. Busy day!

The next day we didn’t have to drive anywhere, but more family descended: grandparents, aunt, and cousins from my mom’s side also arrived from the east (though being warned in a dream, some returned home in other directions). Papa wore his natty holly bow tie, my cousins as usual brought great comic relief, and my aunt provided lemon tarts and made a fantastic Ethiopia-to-U.S. map wall hanging for Anna. My mother tricked us all into decorating cookies in the traditional retro-psychedelic style and ridiculous quantities for which we are known.

The next few days were a little more relaxed, attempting to leave Anna time for at least one good nap a day (normally she is still a two-napper). We had meals out (or in) with friends and spent time with our families. Friday we got some beautiful fresh snow. Saturday night we were at FunnyWriterMommy and Beau’s house and their two-year-old was showing Anna how to run around like a crazy girl. For about a week Anna had been taking a few steps between us or objects when coaxed, but suddenly she saw that big girl walking around with a toy and thought I’m going after her! She took off on her own and then got brave to walk farther and farther distances across rooms. She loved practicing and soon really got the hang of it. Now she’s walking all over the house all the time like an old pro (okay, like a clutzy old pro who falls down a lot, but falls like an old pro too). Wow! (And yikes!)

By Saturday night Anna was getting my cold and didn’t sleep well because she was congested. She kept waking up needing to be patted or picked up to go back to sleep, but then it would only last a half hour (hmm, come to think of it, she gave us a reenactment of this last night). Finally we found our infant motrin and brought her into bed with us, and we she slept the rest of the night (guess whose pillow she always drifts onto?). We decided we needed to skip church and get some rest, though, since we had a big evening ahead. That day was the worst I felt throughout my cold. Anna perked up fine though.

Sunday night was the big “come meet Anna” open house there at my parents’ house. This really turned out to be a good idea since a lot of people were able to come and we could not possibly have seen them all otherwise. There were tons of kids running all over the house too—good thing Grandma seems to have a toy factory in her basement!

New Year’s Eve we had one last hurrah with old friends. The sweetness makes it that much harder to say good-bye. It was good we didn’t stay any later, though, because it was snowing like heck all the way home. Watched the ball drop at my parents’ but should have focused more on packing, because the next morning got frantic (sorry again Mom and Dad). It was kind of like how we left Ethiopia (yes, that tale will come in time). All to get to the airport and stand in a line for an hour . . . which brings us back to our return home (brings us back to 'Doh!') and the end of this scintillating saga. What travel or celebration tales will the next installment hold?

All She Got for Christmas Is

All she wants for Christmas is . . .

Hold it . . .

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A TOOTH.

Actually, two front teeth.

FINALLY.

Aren't they cute?

I am just glad she has some so I can finally say yes to all the people that ask. Same reason I'm glad she's now crawling, standing, balancing, and at least attempting new sounds. She has really come a long way in the last month or so, but for a while there I felt like I said "Not yet..." to every question.

It's not the questioners' fault, of course. It's just natural to talk about other/your own kids when you meet someone else's, and they are watching her grow just as we are. And clueless new mamas like me need to know what other kids are up to to have the vaguest idea what ours are "supposed" to be doing. I wouldn't have known Anna's teeth were on the slow side coming in unless I'd been asked a hundred times and heard how little Einstein got his at four months. The thing is, I wouldn't have felt bad about hers being slow either.

There's a sly kind of competition in the comparisons sometimes--even if it's fighting a guilt that's purely self-imposed. Why should I feel bad that my daughter doesn't have teeth? It's not a reflection on me, as if I could do a thing to speed them up. It's not a sign of adoption difficulties or third-world nutrition or being licked by the dog too many times that I should feel defensive about. It's just teeth, and here they came in their own sweet eleventh-month time.

But I let it nag at me sometimes that maybe she's behind. Maybe she's not catching up as fast as she should be. Maybe I should be reading to her more, feeding her more variety, leaving her with others more, taking her out less. Maybe Early Intervention will be needed and they will revoke her status as Ethiopian Adoption Poster Child. And then what does that do to me as Poster Mother? (They just take the T. Make it Poser Mother.)

Every time I start to worry, though, she learns a new trick (or grows a new incisor) to reassure me. Look, I'm standing, I'm crawling, I'm able to leave a path of chaos through the house in a single bound. I'm sippying my cup and I'm hiding my own face to peekaboo you. I'm renewing my interest in the contents of this drawer and the word Mamamamamama. I'll take that step before you know it, and then there's no slowing down.

Really, world, what's the rush?


Moms (and dads), let's hear your thoughts: Do you ever get caught in the comparison trap? Why do you think we do this? Why are we in such a hurry for our kids to get to the next thing, and how can we remember to enjoy them as they are each day?

Fridays with Grandma

Today we three girls went out wandering in the sunshine. Drove down south; gorgeous waves and blue sky. Had lunch, did the tourist shops, drove back, had leftovers for dinner (didn't we all?). Huge full moon out at sunset too.

After dinner we played in Anna's room where Mom/Grandma is sleeping on the air mattress, which is really fun to play on. Anna decided it was time to get brave and start letting go to stand up on her own! At first she was kind of leaning her knees against the air mattress but then she tried it further back. She was hamming it up for us and the cameras. Once she discovers something new, she is really into trying it over and over again, so I expect she will be getting good at balancing very quickly now.

I can't post pictures tonight because there's a Battle of the Bedtime going on upstairs (she's just so not tired!), but I will try to get some up soon.

By the way, who knew y'all would have so much to say about spiders? Thanks for commenting, and don't worry for us, I haven't seen any in days--the good thing about it getting chilly!

Flashback Ethiopia: Babe in a Denim Dress

Lately I have been amazed to find in my house not a tiny baby but a toddler in the making. Anna has grown so much, gotten so much more hair, and gotten so good at standing that already she doesn’t look so much like a baby anymore; she looks like a little girl, standing tall, ready to take on the world.

But sometimes when she is at her sweetest and most innocent, sleeping or waking up or drinking a bottle, she seems to shrink in my arms. She weighs next to nothing again. Her sometimes-chubby face seems tiny again—tiny nose, lips, cheeks, closed eyes, ears.

The third day we were with Anna, the nannies had dressed her in a denim overalls dress. She fell asleep on Aaron’s chest in the room we visited her in, and we marveled at her tiny hands, ears, lips, cheeks; her perfect skin and long eyelashes.

Today as I rocked her to sleep for her nap I found in my arms again a tiny girl in a denim dress, and in a flash I was brought back to Addis, to those first days of wonder and those first naps together. She looked every bit as small and soft and innocent today as she did then. She slept peacefully in my arms as I marveled at her tiny face, her perfect skin, her precious curls. She hasn’t changed at all. She is still my baby girl.

Danger! Move (Your Things) to Higher Ground!

Thursday after Anna's breakfast I was making my own. I had put her down on her back in the living room. I heard her make a look-at-me! noise and looked up--she was standing up against the front of the couch. Ta-da!

She spend the rest of the day practicing pulling up, and now she has it thoroughly mastered and is starting to work on creeping sideways. She loves standing and "walking" with her hands held. Couch, chairs, tables, shelves, legs, you name it, she will stand against it.

Aha! There's that phone book I wanted to eat!

Her swing has found a new use as a pull-up device, although she also somehow got herself seated.



We've spent the last few days moving everything up, up, up higher. Including the animals. Poor kitty. Or as Anna calls her, "Kheeee!"

Perfect 10.

She's a perfect 10 months today.

My Brilliant Sister-in-Law Piscis said that when she saw her first sonogram of their baby-not-yet-born, all she could think was "Perfect." Funny, that is exactly what I thought, felt, and said when I first saw Anna's picture on my computer screen. Perfect.

That first referral photo sits framed on a shelf, and if I carry her by it and she sees herself, she is transfixed. "Oh! Who's that beautiful baby?" I say. "That's you--Anna!" She smiles and says Heeeee.

Perfect then, perfect now.

Anna's Age and Size; Out with the Junk, in with the Pink!

I think an update is overdue--although it has to be fast because we're having a garage sale in 24 hours and I'm not even close to ready!

Anna is now four months old. Yes, just four months now, because her estimated birthdate was changed from December 7 to January 7. The main orphanage doctor saw her and disagreed with the first doctor's assessment of her developmental markers. Unfortunately no word on exactly what that means, but I guess this is not uncommon. But the more accurate the better, and we are happy to have her a little younger (one month longer until she's a teenager, ha ha). This does, however, ruin the cool story that her birthday of December 7 was the exact day we dropped off our completed dossier at the agency. Ah well. We'll say it was exactly one month after. If anyone happens to have a newspaper or the like from January 7, could you save it for me?

At her medical exam on April 7, she was just shy of 8 pounds and 21 inches long. Tiny little girl! Americans are born that big! But Ethiopians tend to be smaller, and it's possible she'll start growing faster now that she's in good orphanage care and once she gets on super-nutrition-ized U.S. food. Or she may always be tiny. I am anxious for a medical update to see how she's growing. I look at baby clothes and some look so tiny, but then some make me think, "If she's that small, this'll fit her in a year!"

Mom was out here for a fun visit and brought a bunch of clothes she'd picked up at the resale shop and some gifts from others. We couldn't help but buy a few more things so her closet has a significant amount of pink (and a great football rattle) in it already. I also bought some organization-type things for her room and things we'll need for travel to Ethiopia. Church is throwing us a "baby party" (I think the word shower is verboten lest all the men run away) after church on the 20th. You are invited.

We are having our second fundraising garage sale Friday and Saturday. I didn't advertise but Saturday is Great Garage Sale day, when everyone has their sales, so I figured since tons of people will be out cruising for sales, we might as well throw everything out there and see how we do. Yes, I could really use some help getting ready and in the mornings which tend to be busiest. Time to get to work!