Not the First One to Try It

Is this article about my husband?

"MySpace gives pastor ‘prophetic’ edge"

Pastor Alton, who cultivates a reputation as a computer illiterate techno-phobe, is actually an avid reader of MySpace pages, blogs and personal websites of the people in his congregation.
"I appear, shall we say, un-hip," he says. "Therein lies my advantage."
Though he publicly refers to the Worldwide Web as the "Worldwide Waste" and e-mail as "sin-mail," in his home office is a bank of computer screens with more than 170 bookmarked sites — personal web pages, blogs, Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, LinkedIn, Digg, Flickr and more. Each week Alton surfs the sites for hours to find evidence of questionable behavior by people in his church. He jots offenses down and incorporates them into his Sunday sermons.

Wait, no. My husband doesn't try to hide his geekery!


Source: Lark News. Always amusing. Always timely.

I Have Found the Perfect Hair Product

And it is this:

From the news report*:

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—After decades of coddling young children, Johnson & Johnson unveiled its new "Nothing But Tears" shampoo this week, an aggressive bath-time product the company says will help to prepare meek and fragile newborns for the real world.

A radical departure for the health goods manufacturer, the new shampoo features an all-alcohol-based formula, has never once been approved by leading dermatologists, and is as gentle on a baby's skin as "having to grow up and fend for your goddamn self."

*Okay, it's from the Onion. Which is fake news, for those of you who are satire uninitiated (and really, really gullible). Get thee over there and partake of the rest of the article and other Onion hilarity. Dang, I wish that was my job.

Oddness 4.1

Seen today on drive-through coffee stand sign:

topless baristas

April Fool’s . . . one can only assume.

In other (fake) news:

Obama Heals Hundreds

That is some evangelically funny stuff right there, that Lark News.

Illustrated Guide to Baby Care

Where was this before I had a baby? I could have been saved a lot of anxiety had I simply had this handy visual guide!

Do's and Don'ts with Babies

What's your favorite? I think I might have to go with the fish tank.

Gratuitous Football Violence, Week 11

Big, big game for us in NFL Week 11. Now, I'm not saying I wish injury on anyone, but remember, little Eli, what happened to the last quarterback who stepped into our house . . .


That's right. We ripped his head leg off.

How do you like the Claw?

Marfan Story on Today. (Too Much Air to Fill on MSNBC.)

Okay, apparently you were all too traumatized by my honesty to comment. That's okay. I am traumatized by my honesty myself sometimes. And Lord knows my husband is. (He previewed and okayed that post, though, FYI.)

Anyway, just wanted to note that the Today show aired a story on Marfan this morning. It's pretty general and the "interview" at the end is really rushed, so the article I linked to yesterday is more informative, but it's good media attention anyway. You can find the video on the Today website under "Video from TODAY."

From the video page you can also learn about a girl who craves eating metal, why Santas are urged not to say "ho," and about a woman who found an image of Jesus and Mary on a pancake. No word yet on why it sold for $338 on eBay, why this is news, or what keeps the anchorwoman who had to read the story on MSNBC from pulling a revolver from behind the news desk and demanding a few Hail Marys and a huge raise from her boss.

They Have Everything There

Earlier this week I received an email with a strange subject line:

Amazon.com recommends Jesus and more

I was surprised but thought that was nice of them, since I recommend him myself.

Then I saw this ad, and I thought, Now they've gone too far:

• Children: Try eBay

  Looking for Children? Find exactly what you want today.

  www.eBay.com

And to think we went and wasted all that money on adoption.

Court's Coming

Our court date is next Thursday, May 31. Once our case is heard and approved, we are officially, legally, technically, permanently, and in all other ways the mother and father of Anna Jubilee.

I am anxious for it to be over and done with. I don't like to tell God what to do (okay, let's get real: yes I do), but in my humble opinion we can NOT afford a delay. Please pray that court is successful on the 31st or . . . somehow even earlier!

I will try to post soon on the plethora of baby gear we now own and other scintillating topics.

Any questions on anything else (ahem) . . . email me. Some things are best discussed off the Internets, since they are, you know, a series of tubes.