Pre-Summer Saturday

Saturday we took Anna to the local kids' fishing derby. We didn't fish, but Anna did:

play some games



get her face painted



try to decide what she thinks about cotton candy



and of course bring home some balloons and little plastic junk toys. Most of them have mysteriously disappeared while she's sleeping. It's the darndest thing.

It was such a nice summery day that we all went to the beach at sunset, something I don't do nearly enough. Anna now yells, "BEACH!" with a toddler accent that sounds as if she's calling me a mean, overbearing woman. (Maybe I am, but that's no way to talk your momma.)



Sunday and Monday nights were the last Frontline and last Young Life Club, but I'm not emotionally capable of describing them just yet. For now I'll just say they were packed and special.

Tonight: semi-improptu grown-up geeks with no life American Idol party here. The Dark Horse versus the Prince of Darkness showdown seemed as a good a reason as any to eat ice cream with our YL leader peeps. BYO phone.

A Gathering Worth Getting To

Just the girls went to the Ethiopian adoptive families' gathering on Friday because Aaron's back has been giving him heck and six hours in the car would have given him even more painful misery. I know this because I was feeling mild misery myself by the time I got home at midnight, and as I was leaving home in the afternoon I did think This is insane—but it was worth it.

Anna is not a great car traveler, probably because most of our trips around this small town last about four minutes. A long ride is thirty. This was three hours. She slept one hour, whined forty-five minutes (didn't help that the sun was hot on her), then I stopped for a little bit to eat and to break it up before the last forty-five.

Inquiring moms want to know: How does a brand stinking new Burger King have faux granite tile but not have a baby changing station? Eh, my van's cleaner anyway. Okay, it's filthy, but at least I know whose residue it is on that floor.

The party was wonderfully delightful chaos with all the kids running around. I only knew a couple people coming in but got to meet too many to keep straight—let alone match with their kids and husbands. There were more people than I expected and over twenty kids, mostly under age four. Anna didn't know what to think or do at first! But she got brave and found some slightly bigger kids to follow around and smaller babies to steal toys from and pour water on (er, "share" her water with). And she is never shy about approaching someone with food she wants!

I find it interesting to watch families in a setting like this. Who hovers? Who plays? Who gives their baby cake? Who's responsible for this child seeking buried treasure in the dirt behind the bushes? I probably hovered more than I normally would since I'd never been there or met these people and didn't want my child to be the one diving off the rocks onto the pavement and requiring an ambulance. And believe me, she tried.

We really are blessed to have such a great network of families so close by, even though it usually seems like such a long trip to go see them. I know we could have called on them had we had more bumps on our adoption road or when Anna first came home and know they will be a great support for other issues we may face more in the future as a transracial family. And there's just something awesome about seeing that many gorgeous little ones with the same roots running around. I do hope we can make more area/agency gatherings in the future. But I may just spring for a hotel.

Did you seriously think I was going to share?

Quick links, stolen from Habesha Child:
If you want to track the Ethiopian athletes during the Beijing Olympic Games, this site is a good resource.
And here is the schedule of all the events in which Team Ethiopia is competing. (Warning: this page has Olympic spoilers—the Latest Olympic News ticker will tell you how many medals Michael Phelps has won. If it can keep up.)

All Play

We have been enjoying our time in Michigan. My brother and his wife arrived with their four-month-old boy "Tobo" the night after we did, so there has been lots of playing with and staring at the little ones. Anna is having the time of her life here with the small slide/swing set, kiddie pool, sandbox (aka hair nemesis...I was not home when this occurred...), deck steps, music table, five billion toys, and cows (bmoooooo!). My favorite game is her rocking me while I'm on the hammock!

We arrived just in time to be reminded that: (1) it's stinking hot here and (2) it's FREAKING HUMID here. However, Aaron loves the heat anyway and my dad wisely and mercifully got an air conditioner for upstairs where we kids and our kids sleep. After a couple days of extreme heat it has found the perfect spot--warm and sunny but not humid. And we spent Sunday afternoon on Aaron's parents' boat on Lake Michigan. Ahhh, summer!

We have had some relatives and friends here to visit, and Aaron successfully officiated Sami's wedding Friday night. Now we're relaxing a bit more and as a day early birthday event for me, I guess, planning to all go to the zoo tomorrow to show Anna the lions (raar!) and tigers (kitty!) and bears (baba!), oh my!

Grandmas and Grandpas and Aunties, Oh My!

New post--where to start? We've been behaving as though it's summer vacation around here, even when the weather wasn't. My parents were here and it rained every day. Since they left it has been sunny and 65+ degrees. Nonetheless, we managed to play a lot and eat even more. We did the marine science center, some shopping, a little tidepooling (saw the elusive 19-armed sunburst starfish). They really only wanted to play with Anna anyway, of course. It would have been nice to get to the beach more, but my dad is probably glad his suitcase didn't mysteriously gain ten pounds of rocks and shells (it's like my mom's a raccoon and they're shiny things--she can't resist). I'm sure they went home much lighter after leaving us all kinds of books and toys and the awesome Very Hungry Caterpillar quilt my mom made of actual Eric Carle fabric (she's seen "testing it" in previous post) and making a similar deposit of baby schtuff when they met their new grandson, whom they visited after leaving here.

We also got to see my aunt Nancy, who is a retired librarian living the nomadic RV life until she starts her Coolest Summer Job Ever as campground host at Yellowstone freaking National Park(!). She made her way up here from Cali before heading out West, which is obviously east of here, but I'm in denial about that because it just doesn't sound right. So as my parents took off, she and the sunshine were here to keep me from doing boring things like work and pay bills for another day. Can't say I minded. And she bought us steaks, so Aaron sure didn't.

For Friday afternoon bonus slacking off time, we took Anna to her first softball game. The weather was perfect, which you can't always say for Oregon coast softball season--sometimes it is worse than football weather since they built new fields on the windiest plateau in town. She really liked it for about 5 innings but would have liked to hear some more chatter out there. (Waltino, when are you coming back to teach her the finer points of the thinking girl's game?)

Here are some favorite pictures from the week's Anna photography extravaganza!

Sit 'n' Swim

Last week Anna stayed home with someone other than us for the very first time. It was pretty last-minute, because I had to go see someone at the hospital due to our town being in the news for all the wrong reasons. (Sigh. Google News if you must know.) That was probably good since it gave me no time to worry about it/her. I dashed out the door as casually as possible, and Anna spent the next 2 1/2 hours running circles around ShyGirl. And going over to the door and wanting to look out. She did miss me! But not so much that someone else's undivided attention didn't make it worthwhile.

I had been feeling like Anna was ready to be left, since she's been home over six months and doing so well in her attachment--but you never really know how it will go. She did want extra holding at bedtime, but I was needing some extra hugs myself that day, so I was certainly happy to oblige. It's nice to know that she seems to be ready for the occasional sitter here at home. I think we will start calling on one from time to time, and perhaps also sometimes when I'm here but really need to get some things done (see: current project that really feels like brain-hurting homework).

Aaron had a checkup with his eye specialist Thursday afternoon and a CT scan of his heart (also just a checkup) Friday morning, both up in Portland, so we made it a mini vacation. We had dinner--like at a restaurant, like with menus and a waitress--and went to Trader Joe's to stock up on cheap wine, those chocolate orange sticks I can't stop eating, and strange olive- and jalepeno-based experiments Aaron likes to try.

And then, at our hotel . . . to the pool! She was too cute waddling down the hall in her little Mary-Lou-Retton-esque patriotic swimsuit (Christmas gift from Great-Aunt Nancy) and duck robe.

Which way to the pond, little ducky?


At first Anna wasn't too sure about this idea. That's an awful big bathtub, and it's kind of cold. But then she realized There's splashing? All right, this is fun!





Then we chilled amongst our bed's abundant pillows. Ahhhhhhh.

The CT scan took annoyingly long, but on the way home we even hit Starbucks and Target (actually Starbucks in Target--or was it all an amazing dream?). Then we were exhausted and spent the rest of the weekend catching up on all 27 hours of American Idol that aired that week. 'Cuz we tire easily, 'cuz all of a sudden we're old. Really, really old.

Sorry the pool pictures aren't great. It was strangely dark in there (even with my high level of reflectivity) and I was trying not to get my camera wet.

Travels and Tidbits

Last Friday and Saturday we went to a youth ministry seminar with the Young Life crew. I decided somewhat late to come along, with Anna. That was tiring. Fun, but tiring. She is decidedly less easy to tote along and keep quiet during presentations these days (thus we are camping out in the church nursery a lot of late), although she had a couple well-timed naps and was great overall. When she was rambunctious I let her climb stairs (closely guided) and enjoy the sun outside. There's nothing like hanging out on a nice campus quad to make you feel young and hip. Until you realize how much younger those frisbee boys are and that the most defining thing about your hip is that it has a baby riding on it. Ah well.

Our two cool young chick YL leaders rode with us. We had a lot of fun. Yes, we have lived here 4 1/2 years and we now have a handful of new friends younger than us (versus 20 years older--no offense to our fogie friends). We are soooooo cool now!

We offered to drop off C. but she said her parents had dropped off her car at our house so she could just drive home. We pulled in--no car. She called them: "I thought you said you dropped off my car. It's not here." Oh yes, it was . . . in our neighbors' driveway. They had to be thinking What the...?!

Yesterday I'm standing in the ShopMart pharmacy line (otherwise known as the 7th circle of hell but with $4 drugs) with Anna in the cart. The old (white) guy behind me that she's grinning at says randomly but cheerfully to Anna, "Are you going to vote for Barack Obama?" I translated for her: "Yes sir!" (except for the whole, you know, 17 years too young thing).

Beauty and the BS

To follow up on my earlier post about being highly visible and the praise that constantly gushes over our daughter, let me say again that I do take these comments as compliments (we have yet to receive a negative remark--though I know we will someday). We are and will continue to be as proud as imaginable of our daughter not just for her beauty but for all the other qualities emerging in her as well. I do appreciate the nice things people say.

I'm just not always sure what to say in return.

When someone says, "She's such a beautiful baby!" or "That's the most adorable baby I've ever seen!" what am I supposed to say?

I usually go with a simple "Thank you," although sometimes it feels like taking credit for something we had nothing to do with. We neither made nor chose her.

I've occasionally said something joking like "Yes, no thanks to us," but I don't really want to emphasize that as she grows up.

Sometimes I say, "Yes, we certainly think so." This is true, but does admitting my bias imply I don't think it's true? I mean, sometimes I think people are laying it on a little thick, but I don't mind them agreeing with my assessment that she's the most beautiful baby ever.

Sometimes I think I can see my baby's ego causing her entire head to swell up to the 99th percentile and a belief that beauty matters most rising up to devour the seeds of her preteen self-esteem, so I deflect with a comment about something she's doing rather than how she looks. I want her to hear, and know, and trust, as she grows older, that her beauty is enhanced and made complete by her brains, her heart, her purpose, her character.

She's beautiful, yes. But it's nothing compared to the beauty inside.

That's my answer. If only you, and she, could see how true it is.



Note: This may seem silly at her age and when the comments are compliments, but consider the hair comments which are surely in our future: http://www.antiracistparent.com/2007/09/21/good-hair-and-bad-hair-the-silent-messages-our-children-receive/#more-295

Also recommended:
"A Girl Like Me" at http://www.mediathatmattersfest.org/6/index.php?id=2#
http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com/

Time, Travels

I'm not sure what's wrong with me--why I haven't been writing. I have had a couple days between work projects to get caught up on my to-do lists and I've been only somewhat successful. Trouble getting motivated at the right time, when the little girl is napping, I guess. Then before you know it she's up, she's eating (she's always eating!), and the day's gone. All you experienced mothers are thinking, Duh, newbie.

I mentioned in passing that a couple weeks ago we had our post-placement visit from an agency social worker. This means someone comes to your house for an hour, talks to you, and writes a short report, and you pay for the privilege.

Next we get to pay for Anna's re-adoption in Oregon, which is necessary to get her a U.S. birth certificate and get her name and birthdate all straightened out. I also have to get her Social Security card before we need it for tax purposes. The adoption paper fun never stops.

We took Anna on her first big trip, aside from that whole Ethiopia-to-USA thing, of course. She went with us to Wildhorse Canyon for Young Life leadership training camp. 'Cuz she's already sure she wants to be a Young Life leader. Wildhorse is the most amazing camp and I personally always like to go in the fall (when it's not 110 degrees) and be with the leaders. The only problem is that it's six hours away. After four hours Anna definitely wanted to be out of that car seat. But other than that and her repeated prank of peeing every time her dad had her diaper off (hee hee), she did fantastic. We finally made some good use of our stroller, which I love love love for its rear-facing seat, and she stayed in almost all the big "Club" meetings and workshops with us. She was so exhausted by making new friends everywhere she went--more on this tomorrow--that by Saturday night she slept through every raucous gathering her irresponsible parents selfishly dragged her to. Because hey, we couldn't miss anything involving raw foods and something called a Man-O-Meter for something as petty as sleep.

Camp can be very, very tiring.